And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Vodka?
Forever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
