When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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