so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
