I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize