Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize