I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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