It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
