with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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