Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
