It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Congratulations! We have a period
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
