Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
