Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
