Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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