Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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