just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
