I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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