Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
