You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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