So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
