erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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