Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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