they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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