Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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