a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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