i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
