apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
