We won't sleep together?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize