This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
