I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
