I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
