just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
