Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
