If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Drunk is a universal language darling
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