Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
