There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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