i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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