he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
