I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
