I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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