you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
