If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
