if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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