In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize