i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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