dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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