If that was your dad, he is hot
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
