turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
