Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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