is your mom at the bar?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault