i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
