Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.