What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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