you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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