You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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