he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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