Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
