What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
