Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
and you fell through a lawn chair
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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