I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
