we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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