i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize