he puts the penis in happiness.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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