Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
