community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
