i was born a porn star she said
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
