I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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