and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
