i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
