Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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