Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There r osticjed everywhere
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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