singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
