I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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