I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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